Kiku's Zettai Kareshi!
by Hospitalized Heartless
Summary: Kiku Honda is a normal Asian growing up in California- except for the fact that she keeps getting rejected 24/7. But what happens to her life when a Spanish salesman says he can finally get her a boyfriend! Giripan, GreecexJapan, HeraclesxKiku, Fem!Japan.


**A/N:** Yay! I'm finally getting this one up too! Okay- so for those who don't know, this is a Zettai Kareshi (Absolute Boyfriend) and Hetalia: Axis-Powers crossover. And it would be listed in the Summary and stuff if numero one- I had enough characters T~T and numero dos- for some odd reason, Zettai Kareshi doesn't exist on or at least on my compy ;A;. You really don't need to know the Manga though in order to understand the story though. I explain everything pretty well (or at least I think so). Pairings are as follows:

Greece x Fem!Japan  
>America x Fem!Japan<br>Spain x Romano  
>Prussia x Matthew<br>Russia x China

Sorry if you don't like some of these pairings or were looking for something else ;A;. And for those of you who want immediate Giripan, I'm sorry to say it's not immediatly in the first two chapters. However, it's in the third- I'm positive. :3 Read and review please? It'd make a fan girl really happy that someone actually is reading this. Rated T for cude sexual humor and implications of sex. XD If any one thinks I should bump the rating up, let me know please.

And as for the beginning... Yeah. It actually happens this way in the Manga.

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><p>Alfred F. Jones had a lot of things thrown onto his head; milk in the middle of lunch from a rejection in seventh grade, maple syrup when he got into a food fight with his little brother Matthew when the two were little and at one point, a cup of boiling hot tea from his very aggravated British mother. The little sort of normal things from the pasts of being a child.<p>

But never before had he had a bra thrown at his head.

He'd been minding his own business that day, waking up late in the morning with a gigantic yawn on the couch apartment he shared with his not very outgoing brother Matthew and when he walked outside to the balcony that morning to get a good breath of fresh air before he had to go to school, the projectile was thrown at his head from the patio directly to the right of his apartment. "What the?" The blond looked up towards the top of his golden hair to find a black lace bra sitting directly strewn over the top of his head. He grimaced slightly at this. Who the hell would've thrown this at him-

"Oh no! I won't be on time!"

Of course, it was Kiku.

In order for you to get a better idea of what this odd and, knowing my very own guesses, perverted story, it's time for you to get a background check. You see that blond over there with the black bra on his head? That's Alfred F. Jones, son of Francis Bonnefoy and Alice Kirkland and brother to his little bro, Matthew Williams. He's lived in that apartment this entire life and for the most part had been completely empty up until the last three years. That's where 'Kiku' comes in. Kiku Honda was a very timid Asian when Alfred first met her, daughter of Yanmei Wang and Ivan Braginski and only child from Japan. She'd been brought to America for new opportunities to her future by her parents. In all honesty, Alfred didn't really want to go over to her apartment the first day she moved in but his brother forced him to and… she wasn't that bad of a person. Mostly she was just socially awkward from being in a new country which was understandable.

But this… this was a little bit too dramatic.

Alfred raised a hand to his head and brought the undergarment into his hand, snickering at the label on the back. 31 A? "Oh Kiku…" He chuckled before turning on his heel and seeing the Asian now on her patio. "Oh hotei, oh hotei, oh hotei- I'm going to be late!-"

Kiku had seen a lot of weird things of disturbing things in her life; coming home one day to her mom and dad sucking each other's faces on the couch, her old Korean friend Kim showing her a new set of bras and panties she'd bought or maybe severe mental scarring from ninth grade sexual education. The weird little oddities that had invaded her life so far as of coming from Japan to America.

But never would she have expected to see her friend Alfred, her apartment neighbor, holding on her bras in his hands one morning.

"Alfred!" Her face flamed up around her chin cut, raven black hair as she grabbed the lingerie quickly from his grasp and threw it back into her house into another pile of clothing. "What the hell, Alfred? What're you doing with other peoples' bras, pervert!"

"Who're you calling the pervert for?" Alfred argued back, flicking his friend square in her forehead. "You were the one who threw it at me, titless!"

"Titless!" Kiku flamed up ever for and went to attack the man but was held back by Alfred's two strong arms. "Relax Kiku! I was only joking- Jesus! You Asians are so much fun to make fun of!"

Kiku glared at the snickering American and if it wasn't for that she grew up with high morals from her mother, would've slapped the man senseless. "You… Ugh. You're a very bad person, Alfred-san." "A very bad person?" "Oh urusai, Alfred-san." Alfred chuckled and pat his friend on the head, ruffling her black hair. "Let's just forget this happen, okay?" The Asian mumbled and the blond was quick to nod. "Right… Don't need Matthew finding out." "Who?" "My brother? Seriously- no one knows who he is anymore."

And so, the two departed in order to make their way to school, Kiku conveniently exiting to the sliding balcony door and shutting it back into the safety of her mother and father's empty apartment. It would always be empty for now, at least until her parents came back from the trip in Russia they had taken, leaving the seventeen year old to fair for herself. The only person she really had to guide her at this point was her American friend Alfred. And he mostly just made sure she didn't burn anything when she was cooking those 'weird, spicy curry smelling, yucky noodles'- whatever that meant.

A clock went off into the background, signaling it was only fifteen minutes after seven. "Oh." Kiku sighed and picked up her book bag in the corner of the apartment, along with her car keys. She must've read the clock say like- seven forty five or something, which was why she was in a panic to get her clothes on and ended up throwing her bra on Alfred's head. "Ugh!" Kiku smacked her forehead. "Watashi no baka! You're so stupid Kiku!" Kiku looked at her flushed face in her mirror before she walked out the door of her apartment and made her way to her car, looking down at her thigh high black and pink striped stockings and a black jean skirt before fixing her bright lime green hoodie around her hair. She looked… childish. This was certainly fine back in Japan- actually sort of popular. But in America it was just weird. And her haircut really didn't help at all. It wasn't cute at all- made her look really weird and out of place being a seventeen year old growing up in the Californian hills of America.

"Stop thinking about it," She warned herself before trotting down the apartment steps and out the door to her care in the parking lot. "You keep thinking about it, you'll be too self conscious in school."Making sure she had her driver's license, the blackette adjusted her mirror before moving the stick shift of her glittering purple box shaped Scion xb given to her as the only car to use the couple of months her parents were away and began to pull away from her apartment complex. But even as she was driving to school and Big Bang, the Korean pop group's singing burst into her car, it wasn't able to drown out her emptiness inside of her.

"Ugh, I don't know how you manage to do it, Alfred-san." "Do what?" Kiku raised her almond eyes towards her friend and away from her IPod she'd currently been listening to during lunch. "You just got ANOTHER girl to ask you out and you rejected her." "Oh that Hungarian girl? Good thing too- She wasn't my type." Kiku frowned at her friend who pecked at the remaining bits of her burger and seemed to look longly at the unbitten piece of pizza at Kiku's right. "Go ahead," she'd been here before. "I'm not eating it."

Kiku was thoroughly depressed today. Not just the fact that she had a 100 point project in her Greek Mythology class that would basically make or break her grades for first tri, but she'd been rejected today- again. And it wasn't really helping that her friend Alfred was the high school dream of the entire school and was giving out rejections twenty four seven. She didn't know how he did it- he did nothing to try and attract women and they just flocked to him. Yet, Kiku tried her best to be sincere to every man she sort of kind of liked and wanted to try to be in a relationship with and was thrown into the mud and out into the cold- almost literally.

Kiku held back tears. Would she ever be loved? No one here seemed to want to love her- the weird and awkward Asian girl who was completely over shadowed from her friendship with Alfred, the guy every high school girl dreamed of.

"I think I'm going to go home early today." She mumbled to her friend and scooted out from the bench she'd been sitting on in the middle of the lunchroom and the blue eyed blond cocked his head to the side, a pizza shoved in his mouth. "Mmphy?"Kiku took that as 'Why?'. "I don't feel good is all. I'll see you back at the apartments, Alfred-san." "Okay- see you later Kiku." Kiku walked away, her school I.D. and a pass book in hand before striding over to the doors that lead out of the lunchroom. "Where're you going?" A janitor stopped her. "Ah- Gomenasai. May I go to the Administrator's Office?" The janitor grunted, giving a nod and signing Kiku's pass book. "Arigatou gozaimasu." For whatever reason the teachers and admin. Around her seemed to be grumpy all the time, Kiku would never know. Back at her old school, the teachers seemed content all the time and were really happy to be teaching. She was being rude when she thought this, but Americans were seemingly getting more and more lazier by the second.

"Mom would kill me if she knew I was skipping out on school," The blackette mumbled to herself, dropping her back pack into the passengers' seat of her car with the collective amount of papers from the classes she wasn't attending that day. But she really didn't feel like finishing it for the rest of the day. Besides, so long as she finished her homework it wouldn't matter right? "Oh Benten-sama, have mercy on me." Kiku bowed her head respectively, her hands folded in a prayer and was about to close her car door and drive home when a ringtone hit her ears and…

A song about tomatoes started to play?

"_Rico tomato  
>Rico tomato<br>Muy  
>Muy<br>Rico tomato!"_

Kiku raised a black lined eyebrow and shut her car door. She was interested. Where was this coming from?

She spotted where the noise was coming from before noticing a red covered phone laying in the middle of the school parking lot, playing the- what Kiku could tell- Spanish song very loudly in the empty space between the cars. "Someone must've dropped this…" Kiku hesitated before picked up the phone, the song still playing. Should she answer the call? "Maybe it's the person who lost the phone?" Despite her better judgment, Kiku opened the phone and raised it to her ear.

She had made probably the biggest mistake of her entire life.

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><p><strong>AN: **Wooh! Okay! So hopefully this wasn't too bad- I promise it'll get better! I just hate writing intros- plus, going after a manga only gives you so many options to fill something up with detail. Plus, I don't like going into step by step definitions of everything. Sorry if this dissapoints some people T~T -goes to cry in Boss Spain corner-.

Translations:

_Urusai_ - "Oh shut up."  
><em>Gomenasai<em> - "I'm so sorry."  
><em>Arigatou gozaimasu<em> - "Thank you very much."

And those of you asking who Hotei and 'Benten-sama' is, they're Seven Lucky Gods in Japanese Mythology. I couldn't really decide what sort of religion I wanted to make Kiku so it just ended up like that. Read and Review please! You gets a very juicy tomato from Spain~ -Tempts you Spain's tomatoes- Oh Spain is going to kill me by Chapter Two XD. Critique is highly welcomed!


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